Fixing a Broken Heart

 It's been almost a year since I've started this little blog of mine. Lately, I've been thinking of some of the reasons I've started it in the first place. I'd love to say that the only reasons were because of so many other talented, crafty, artistic, true and genuine girls inspiring me to do it. Those reasons really did play a big part in it. But, I think there was really something far deeper for me. I was trying to heal a hurt in my heart. I know that my posts are usually never too deep. More about the pretties I've crafted or the treasures I've found. About little excursions with the kids. And, that's what I intended when I started this blog. We all have sorrows in our live. Trials and tribulations. We have obstacles to get over and our own crosses to bare. I wanted this place, here, to be a place where you and I could escape the mundane or the downright sad, the unhappy and bothersome. I wanted to highlight the beauty, the happy of everyday. Now, looking back, I think I can see that the main reason for starting this blog was to fill a void. My life is full of beauty. A beautiful husband, I couldn't ask for a better one. He goes to the ends of the earth for me and does it willingly. I have three lively, healthy kids. I have a warm home and successful business. There's no doubt about it, I am BLESSED. But, there was something very profound, something I never expected, we never expected that happened to me and my family. We had our perfect little worlds turned upside down and shaken about a year and a half ago. We found out my father had been cheating on my mother, his wife of all but thirty years for a very long time. He lived this whole other life we knew nothing about. There were plenty of people that knew, that just never said anything. They didn't want to see our "perfect" family broken. My heart aches for my mom. She is such a strong woman. No woman should have to go through this. No child should have to go through this. But, yet it happens every single day. To countless individuals and countless families. So sad. He had everything, everything. He was surrounded by a family that adored him. He had a beautiful home, successful businesses with my mom, he had cars and clothes and obviously, too much time on his hands. He went to church with us every Sunday we vacationed together. He really played the part well. Honestly, he was a good father and a good grandfather. But, he has many addictions and I'm not so sure he's ready to be helped yet. I don't have a relationship with my father right now. I sit here typing with tears in my eyes. I pray, that one day he will be ready for help in his mess that he calls life. But, until then all I can do is pray and thank God for the blessings I have in my life. For surely, I live a lovely life. I thank all of you, for your inspiring comments your emails and your friendships. YOU really have helped fill a void in my life. And, although I have my days when my mind wanders, just thinking too much really. Every single day gets better and brighter... thanks in part to you, friends.

P.S.  I made another heart this year, this one with not quite as muted shades....

 

Comments

[Robin Thomas]

Hmmmm, thank you for admitting this. It will help you process it I think. I could say a lot here about pain and revelation, sorrow and all that. I just think the most interesting thing you wrote was your last sentence about making a new heart, less muted. That sort of speaks directly to the healing that is going on. Making a new heart. Feel my embrace dear girl...

[Julie Ann]

Gabrielle- I'm so sorry about the pain your father has caused you and your family. *Big hugs* I hope that he is ready soon, too, to accept help and fix his life so that others can come back into it, like you. It has to be so difficult not speaking to him... My family went through a similar situation in that my dad and brother were no longer speaking, so I can see where you're coming from. My prayers are with you and yours.

Beautiful wreath, by the way! I just love this one and the one you made last!!

[Valarie Kraft]

Gabrielle...I am so sorry to hear about the pain that someone you love has brought you and your family. I know that as a mother we cannot imagine inflicting pain on our children, so what a surprise it is when a parent does this to us. I just don't understand it. I hope that you surround yourself with people who love you. You are in my thoughts.
Valarie

[Thespoena McLaughlin]

This was such a heartfelt post. Sometimes we need to express what is inside and it is perfectly alright to do so in a place we feel comfortable, our blogs. If our blogs and friends can't help us through our hard times as well as be there for the happy ones then what's the point. Chin up dear. Things will work out. Time can heal wounds.

[Paige Hill]

Gabrielle, It took a lot of courage to post something so personal. It's hard to understand why these things happen, especially when it comes out of the blue. So sorry for your hurt. *Hugs* Paige

[rosie]

God bless you, Gabrielle. This happened in my family, too. I know how it hurts. Continue to pray for both your Mom and your Dad, even when you don't want to. I don't mean to sound trite, but time really does heal wounds.
rosie

[Account Deleted]

so sorry for your pain...

i have been trying to reach out to my father since i was a little girl. he and my mother divorced when i was 2 years old. he wanted nothing to do with me. i saw him a few times over the years; tried to form a relationship with him; sent him pictures of his grandchildren; wrote him letters. his response (through a third party) was "i'm not ready"...i guess he will never be ready b/c i am 38.

so...even though our stories are different...i can identify with your pain...

i will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

you are a sweet, special person...and i am glad your "new" heart is not so muted anymore : )

blessings,
danielle
www.thevintagedragonfly.typepad.com

[Natasha Burns]

What a heartfelt and honest post Gabrielle. Thank you for sharing some of your most private self with us. I hope in time you and your family will heal. I can't say I know what you are going through, I can't imagine the pain this has caused. But we're all here for you and I too am glad your new heart this year is not so muted xoxo

[Kelli]

Gabrielle, I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling. it took alot of courage to tell your private story. I hope you continue to heal and I'm so glad your new heart is less muted:)

xoxo Kelli

[Tiffany]

hi sweeite, I am with the other girls, I think being able to express your feelings on the situation will reall yhelp you. I hope the best outcome that your family can be mended and love once again.....
xoxo, TIffany

[Rosalyn-Sue]

In fixing-your-broken-heart, you have warmed mine 10-fold this past year. Your blog is a place of comfort, life, and sweetness. May you be surrounded with all that you have so wonderfully given us.

XO,
Rosalyn-Sue

[claudie]

First and foremost thank you for visiting me. I'm glad I found you and your beautiful blog, family and home.
You brought up an issue I had when I was married to my first husband. I found out that his dad also married over 30 years was living with another woman in the same town!! He had been doing this for 9 years, and nobody knew. I found out through a friend. I'm the one of of his 4 children, one being my husband, that knocked at their door, in shock they opened the door... and it all started. I feel responsible for opening that can of worms, but I'm the type that is very very honest and would NEVER put up with such infidelity. I actually think he was relieved to finally be exposed. He did leave to be with the "other woman". They moved out of province, and were happy, I think till the day he died.
Needless to say his son, my husband in our first year of marriage cheated on me...like father like son... I left him and found my prince charming, have 3 grown children, with one in his last year of high school, rescue senior dogs and cats and live on the river where we call "heaven".
WOW I haven't shared that story with anyone on the internet.
So I hope things work out for your family. Hearts can be mended. Some other's hearts will always stay broken.
I will see you often Gabrielle. I love your little piece of heaven. Can't wait to see your craft room.
Have a great weekend.
Love Claudie
xoxox
P.S. Your children are adorable. Brittany now 21 always wore her Alice dress too, and Belle, and Cinderella and and and : )